Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Hello darkness my old friend

I've come to talk to you again...

Actually, this time, the title was easy.  Getting around to writing the post has been the hard bit.  I am already over this year.  Have been to the GP and will have a raft of blood tests to rule out anything exciting.  But - first steps.  And both she and Bruce are aware that a relapse of CFS is one of my worst nightmares.

I do know the tiredness feels different to when it's depression-related.  And I did one of the little "how do you feel" tests which my lovely GP said was almost normal.  Hear that, I'm almost normal!!!!  Wowsers, it's been a long time coming!

I am so BLOODY TIRED!  And tired of being tired.  Knackered from a few hours work.  Needing a nap most days.  I've been struggling through, getting through the work day, managing the basics of keeping the household running, some blog reading and it feels like that's it.

Then the excitement of last week.  Spouse has had a mix of blepharitis and conjunctivitis.  Yucky and painful.  Winston and Fearghus had a fight over the top of me (I was fetching an apple out from under the kitchen dresser) and I got bitten on a forearm.  Both dogs deeply mortified.  Despite being well flushed out, an infection, fever, cramping muscles, possible reaction to tetanus shot.  Heavy duty antibiotics and their delightful side-effects.  Combination of all these has not helped.

Still struggling not to re-order the plates that Best Beloved put back in the pantry this morning.  This is me staring down one of my obsessive tendencies.  I know it's a waste of time and energy, now to convince my head of this as well.

Anyone got some spare energy?